Hart2Hart Club House Blues
by Timid Chaos
Summary: Final Chapter...What happens when Momo and Kaidoh are forced to "reconcile their differences" in a locked club house!Possible MomoKai, we shall see... actually we now know, so come inside and find out!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer:  No profit was made, all characters belong to their genius creators and amazing voice actors.  Yadda Yadda, you know the drill.

Club House Blues

            "Hey, no, wait, WAIT!"  At the door's slam in his face, Momo's shoulders held rigid in shock before finally dropping.  Muttering to himself, "What the hell?" he finally sighed and turned around.  "Well, what do you hafta say for yourself?"  The other boy just glared and turned away.

            Stalking over to the only other occupant in the now locked tennis club house, Momo bent to get right in the sitting boy's face.  "This is all your fault you know!"

            "What did you say?"

            "Had you only said something out there, FukuBuchou wouldn't have felt the need for this forced heart-to-heart."

            "Had you only NOT said something out there, the same could be said, baka."  Kaidoh barely withheld his inclination to hiss, but at this close of range, it felt somehow wrong.   Anyway, it rarely worked on his rival, who had currently gone back to pacing and muttering to himself, periodically checking to see if they had unlocked the door.

            It had all started out as a normal practice, but as per usual he and Momo had bickered, to say the least, and for some unknown reason this really had irritated Oishi, and so here they were, shoved and locked inside the club house, with some rushed and frustrated explination of having to work together both on the and off the courts and how could they expect to coach the team next year, yadda yadda.  In all honesty, Kaidoh was too shocked to listen much since they had sic'd a "burning" Kawamura on him. Momo just got Fuji.  He smirked, _in retrospect, which is worse I wonder._

"What the hell are you smiling at?"

            "Fushhhh.  Nothing your puny mind could handle."

            "Are you insinuating I'm less intelligent than you?"

            Just a headshake and glare.

            _This is going to get us no where!_  With a dramatic and drawn out sigh, Momo stepped back from where he found himself in Kaidoh's face once again.  _Wonder why that keeps happening._  "Look, if Tezuka didn't defend us, and let Oishi's order stand, there must be some reason to it."  He looked down at the other boy.  "We are supposed to captain the team next season."  Seeing as how he only got a blank stare in response, he just turned and flopped onto a bench across the room.  "Fine, have it your way.  Maybe if we're quiet they'll let us out."

            After about five minutes of silence, it became apparent that their ploy wasn't going to work.  But neither really noticed since both were lost in thought.  Kaidoh was the first to speak.  "Oishi and Tezuka never fight, at least not openly."

            A nod.  "They're much more alike than we are."

            Staring contemplatively at the floor, Kaidoh spoke in a low tone,  "Do you think we'll be as good as they are?"

            Momo paused before answering, actually sensing an underlying worry behind his teammate's question.  Even though he battled openly with the other, he felt a strange sort of connection with the boy, a kindrid spirit of rash behaviors and competition.  It was rare to see Kaidoh unsure, and he felt the need to answer honestly.  "It's hard to tell.  We'll be losing the majority of our champions this year, but we have a lot of hopefuls in our class, and who knows what the next year's freshmen will bring."

            "We'll still have your boy toy."  A smirk, nearly hidden in shadow.

            "My boy toy?!  What do you mean by that?!?!? Ryoma?! How can you…oh…"  Momo narrowed his eyes.  "Why do you do that?  Irk me on purpose.  On the courts it makes sense, but here?"

            Suddenly tense, Kaidoh did not appreciate the question.  Nor did he have an answer, so he simply let out a low hiss. 

            "Did you just growl at me?  Kaidoh, that's just odd.  Now answer the question."

            "No.  And you're one to ask."

            "And what's that supposed to mean?"  _Oh, I'm back in his face, and he sure as hell doesn't appreciate it.  Tee hee hee._

            "Get out of my face you monkey."

            "Make me," he taunted, right before finding himself being shoved back, with a very angry Kaidoh stalking after his stumbling form.  _Uh oh._

…TBC…

A/N:  Now, this story can go one of a few ways, some needing a higher rating.  I'll go ahead and write the next chapter, but I need input as to which way to go.  I might even write alternate endings, I just don't know.  Please Review and lemme know where you want this fic to go…your wish is my command (within reasonable boundaries of course, remember, this is so no NC-17s….pity.)


	2. 2 Club House Antics

_Disclaimer_: _The same_

_A/N: Thank you to those who reviewed, it was much appreciated and I enjoy any constructive criticisms people have. Please enjoy this next installment._

Hart2Hart – chapter 2: Club House Antics

As he stalked over the other boy, Kaidoh couldn't help but smirk at Momo's unintentional wince. Even as the smirk held however, he felt a pang at the fact that he had this power over another. Sure, the intimidation factor helped in keeping annoying people away and scaring his opponents, but along the way it alienated a lot of others. He wasn't rude, he didn't mean to be, he just didn't like frivolous antics that many his age seemed to fall pray to. Or the assumptions made by his elders. He couldn't remember when his whole "snake" personality sprang to life, but as it developed he had figured it more a help than a hindrance, so let it be.

But then again…this _was_ Momo he was stalking, so did it really matter? Whenever it came to this particular teammate, he fell victim to his own immaturity, so why not. And, technically, this situation called for torment all around, so why not have a little fun?

"Kaidoh, come on, give it a break!" Momo kept backing away, not sure what he was seeing. Sure, the kid was smirking, but it didn't look real for some odd reason, and he wasn't sure why. As it was, the boy seemed so lost in though he had stopped stalking and just stood there, looking on menacingly. Making sure there was enough space between the other and him, Momo tried again. "Kaidoh?"

The grin suddenly grew and he again found himself shuffling backwards out of the snake's reach. All too soon he found himself being pushed back into the shower room, but thankfully the floor wasn't slick so his hands didn't slide on the tile, and he was able to keep a fair distance between them.

Seeing how oddly Momo was crab walking backwards, Kaidoh easily noted where they were heading. Cackling to himself, he continued to press the other boy back…a bit more, a bit more, there, nearly there… With a quick jump back, he turned the knob.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Unable to fend off the freezing water, Momo attempted to scramble backwards but couldn't find enough traction at first, managing to land fully on his back, soaking both the front and the back of his uniform. "KAIDOH!!!"

Grinning to himself, Kaidoh couldn't hold back and began laughing in earnest, which only seemed to infuriate Momo all the more. The look that passed his teammates face was simply too much, and he doubled over in laughter. Holding his sides.

Through the haze of the water, which now he simply sat in since it was pointless to move, Momo stared at the odd, and impossible sight before him. Kaidoh…laughing? Nearly falling to his knees, laughing?! He never thought he'd see the day, but with a shiver he remembered very quickly what had brought on this sudden laughing fit, and with speed honed by training and the threat of Inui's special juice, he gained his feet and launched himself at the other.

Uncharacteristically unaware of his victim's movements, Kaidoh suddenly found himself tackled from the side, and before he knew it, swung into the shower's spray. With a yelp, he struggled with the other boy, but to no avail since despite his height advantage, the other had more mass and weight and was able to pin him to the wall. He assumed Momo didn't care that he was also in the water since he was already soaked.

Surprised that he had gotten the move on Kaidoh, and managed to wrestle him under the water too boot, he barely was able to hold on while they both struggled, one to pin, the other to escape. Just as suddenly as it happened, Kaidoh gave up with a hiss. Not exactly trusting the other to not pull some sneaky move on him, Momo didn't exactly give up his death hold he had on the other's uniform. Looking up, he glared into the snake's eyes, and not liking the growing sneer, he slowly backed off without releasing his hold, and looked down at where Kaidoh's hand now rested. With wide eyes, Momo quickly looked back up and both begged him not to do it, and dared him to even attempt it.

Seeing both the prayer and dare in his teammate's eyes, Kaidoh only debated for a second before he simply squeezed his hand for all his worth.

"Ahhhh!!!!"

"Hahahahahahahaha…"

TBC (remember, Kaidoh isn't totally cruel…)


	3. 3 Club House Resolution

_Disclaimer: Same_

_A/N: This is the final installment, enjoy!_

Club House Resolutions

Knowing that his teammate was about to get an evil revenge, Momo tried desperately to escape, but to no avail. Even as he heard himself yelp, and Kaidoh's scarily maniacal laughter, he felt the immediate effects of the attack.

"Ak, Kaidoh!!!"

Now that Momo had released him, attempting to save himself, Kaidoh easily adjusted his aim and continued to squeeze the shampoo bottle to its near death. Amused at his teammate's struggle to save himself from the oncoming soap and resulting slime, he pressed his advantage, only relishing in the utter torment.

Realizing how distracted, er, focused his attacker was, Momo had a flash of remembrance, knowing that behind him on the opposite wall sat a similar bottle of shampoo. Only giving the question of which owners' shampoo they were using a fleeing thought, and still trying to protect his eyes and keep his footing on the now slick floor, he dove and captured the next victim, or rather bottle. And released his full fury at the now retreating mamushi.

"Come back here!"

Unsuspecting, the remainder of the team were outside the locked door, waiting to be allowed in. Oishi still had the key, and now that practice was over they wished to just grab their stuff and go. Well, most…some of the team were rather sadistically curious as to the result of the fighting duo's impromptu imprisonment. Fuji turned to Eiji, who was surprisingly non-bouncy. "Hm, I wonder how it turned out."

"Oi, me too. I hope for the better, because this all distracted Oishi so badly that our match was doubly hard. I'm tired."

"You're not the only one Eiji," Taka-san spoke up. "I think buchou was irritated and those extra 30 laps were just his frustration coming through. We're all tired now."

"Yeah, poor Ochibi…I wonder if he's recovered from having to drink Inui's new tea, juice, concoction thing." Fuji's smile just got a bit wider, but before he could respond to his friend's comment, Tezuka and Oishi walked up, with Inui trailing behind watching a slowly marching Ryoma.

Oishi frowned, as if listening for any noise from inside. Fuji noticed how even as he did it, Eiji tilted his head as if also listening. It pleased him to see how the two even blended off the courts. "Eiji, anything?"

"Nah Oishi, all is quiet. Ochibi, how are you feeling?"

"Hn."

Eiji gave a slight glare at his taller, be speckled teammate. "Why do you make us drink those horrid things Inui?"

"To receive feedback of course. I have extra if you wish to share your personal opinion." He held up a darkened bottle from which Eiji could swear he heard boiling sounds. "That's, that's quite alright, I'll pass." Even has he blanched, Ryoma just pressed his hand to his stomach and ran off behind the building.

Fuji looked on. "Well, had he only run that quickly for the latter of his laps…"

Inui glanced down. "Then you would have sampled my new tea. You did come in second, and looked like last until the very end." He gave a very knowing look, to which Fuji wisely refused to make comment. He was saved though since Tezuka was currently unlocking the door.

Oishi spoke up with a slightly worried tone as he followed his captain into the clubhouse. "Are they in the showers?" Even as the rest tumbled in, Tezuka and Oishi continued through to the shower room, seeing the locker area vacant…and froze.

The others looked on curiously, and quickly forgetting their belongings, followed their leaders and came to their own personal frozen positions. Before them was a sight none would forget, nor let the objects of said image ever forget.

Panting, sitting, and glaring at one another, Momo and Kaidoh continued their silent battle, unaware of their bystanders.

"If I could get up, you would be dead right now."

"Fsshhhuuuu."

…

Ryoma chose just that second to enter the room. With eyes wide, he took in the scene, and promptly slipped on some of the shampoo that had escaped the shower tiles and crashed into Eiji, who was already unbalanced from sheer shock. He in turn attempted to grab Oishi, who sadly was already standing on a slick spot, and knocked his doubles partner off his feet. Said feet went flying into the back of Taka-san and Fuji's legs, and soon all but Tezuka and Inui were on the floor in a tangle of limbs.

It was their crashing entrance that finally alerted the now suds covered boys to their audience. In a scarily synchronized motion, the two looked and saw a pile of what looked to be the majority of their team, and then their captain and manager just standing by, one amused, the other…not. Jumping to their feet as best they could, again scarily in sync, the two stood before their captain, trying to save face, but neither making any excuse. They knew they were in deep, deep trouble.

While Inui continued to jot down some notes, muttering to himself, Tezuka simply looked his teammates over. With arms crossed, and a severe look on his face, he just took a hard look at both, making sure he had their full attention, and not the groaning and shifting pile besides him. "Did you decide?"

Momo looked to his right, Kaidoh to his left, they nodded and looked front once again.

Kaidoh spoke first. "Hai."

Momo finished. "We're co-captains should the need arise."

"Hn." Tezuka simply gave them another once over then easily walked out into the locker area, collected his gear and left.

Oishi, now free of the web of limbs and bodies, was standing and looking at the retreating back of his captain. Turning once again to face the two soap covered boys, he gave a nearly pained look, before closing his eyes as if to collect himself, then turning and helping the rest to their feet. Not a word was said, and as the rest of the team went back to their lockers, collected their stuff and changed, Momo and Kaidoh continued to stand, dripping and beginning to itch, on the tiles. Finally everyone had left, with Oishi saying he had to speak with a professor and would return later to lock up.

Dead silence reigned fiercely, until a small choking sound rang through the air. Which was followed by a deeper, more consistent sound, only to be overrun by gut wrenching guffaws. As Momo had to lean over and rest his hands on his knees while laughing, Kaidoh simply kept chuckling and walked back to rise off as best he could. He had a change of clothes, and those would have to do.

Quickly gaining control of his laughter, Momo joined him and slapped him on the back. "I can't believe we got away with that."

"Hai."

With the random chuckle decorating the air, the two finished washing off and went back to dress and leave. Both were stopped in their tracks as they reached their bags. Identical notes were resting on them.

" ' 100 laps; that was my shampoo' "

Ryoma, who was leaning against the outer wall, waiting for Momo to take him home on his bike, started as he heard two outrageous yells from inside. With a smirk, he lowered his hat and mumbled, "Mada mada da ne."

FIN

(A/N: Ok, ok, I realize this fic was very under par, but not only was it my first TeniPuri fic, it was also my first humor oriented one. I appreciate any who read this and actually returned to finish it, especially those who reviewed. Angst and action/adventure are my usual genres, so this will probably be my last humor centric fic. So thank you, and don't let this one deter you from reading my other stories, should more arise here, or I post anymore of my LOTR ones.)


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